


The Last Something That Meant Anything

by enjxlras



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Percy Weasley, Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Survivor Guilt, in this house we love and support percy weasley, penelope and audrey are there too tho because percy deserves love, percy/oliver will be endgame, the weasleys are good people but they all have their faults, this is me cramming two decades worth of Percy headcanons into one fic bc no one can stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjxlras/pseuds/enjxlras
Summary: He's never felt like he stood much of a chance.alternatively,A timeline of events in the life of one Percy Ignatius Weasley. Before, during, and after the war.
Relationships: Audrey Weasley/Percy Weasley, Charlie Weasley & Percy Weasley, Ginny Weasley & Percy Weasley, Penelope Clearwater/Percy Weasley, Percy Weasley & Weasley Family, Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood
Comments: 43
Kudos: 392





	1. recollect

Percy is just shy of one and a half when he becomes a big brother.

He doesn't remember it, of course. It's impossible to think that there was ever a time when Fred and George weren't there, poking and pushing him. There had to have been a time like that though. He imagines it was much quieter and peaceful, and his toddler self had no idea that he should have enjoyed it while he could. He doesn't remember when Ron is born either, buthe does vaguely recall worrying that his mum was going to burst if she got any bigger with the baby. And he remembers just after Ron was born, only because he would bury his head in his pillow to drown out the sound of crying. 

He does remember, however, when Ginny is born a week and a half before his fifth birthday. The entire family is excited, because there's _another_ new baby, and also because there is a _girl_. Or... well, most of them were excited. Percy himself just hopes this baby doesn't cry as much as Ron had (and as much as Ron still did, to be quite honest). 

When Mum and Dad bring the baby home to meet her brothers, Percy wonders how a person can be so _small_. Ron had to have been that small when he was born, and the twins, and he had to have been too. The things is, Percy doesn't remember any of that. But baby Ginny is etched into his memory, and Percy will swear up and down ( _to himself; never out loud_ ) that she is his first vivid memory.

It would always bug him when Fred and George would bounce off the walls asking for things, not stopping until they either got what they wanted or were shooed away. Even as a kid, Percy understands the importance of patience and waiting your turn. The day Ginny comes home though, Percy is willing to take a page out of the twins' book, all for the sake of holding his little sister. 

It takes a lot of convincing. His parents try to say that he's too small, that he might accidentally drop her if he's not careful. He's actually offended by that. Percy knows how to be _careful_ , of all things. He reminds his mum how they'd baked cookies over the summer, and when he'd helped her get them out of the oven, he hadn't dropped a single one. And Charlie isn't careful most of the time, but he was allowed to hold the baby! Percy doesn't realize it, but he's giving his first persuasive essay right there in the middle of the Burrow's living room, listing reason after reason about why he should be able to hold the baby. Its choppy, and mostly a stream of conscious for whatever he can think of to prove it to them, but in the end it works.

His mother fusses over him after making him sit on the couch. She tugs his arms into the right position to make sure he supports the head the right way, and both his parents and Bill loom over to make sure nothing goes wrong. He wants to whine, but he doesn't. This is his little sister, he won't let anything bad happen to her. He won't let anything bad happen to Fred, or George, or Ron either, just like he knows Bill and Charlie won't let anything bad happen to him. And how he knows his parents won't let anything bad happen to any of them.

He only gets to hold her for a minute before Fred and George run through the room, yapping that they want to hold her too. "Absolutely not," his mother declares, and Percy can't help but feel proud of that. The twins can't hold her because they're not responsible like he is.

Percy is one and a half when he becomes a big brother, but he's almost five when he realizes what exactly that means.

( _It takes until he is nineteen to_ appreciate _what exactly that means. His first birthday after leaving his family falls eleven days after Ginny turns fourteen; he's only recently broken off contact with the lot of them, and the wound is still fresh, but he's too angry and stuck waiting for an apology that won't ever come. His friends try and make it a good birthday for him — Oliver burns a cake because he's too fixated on prepping for his first professional game with Puddlemere, and Penelope comes round to give him a card she's charmed to sing Happy Birthday in a four-part harmony of her own voice. They try, but Percy still ends up working overtime at the Ministry on his birthday, so that he can pretend that he didn't miss out on Ginny's for the first time ever._ )

* * *

Percy is seven when he decides he’s going to be Minister of Magic. 

It’ll be hard, he knows that. He hears the things people whisper about his family, that they’re “blood traitors”, whatever that means. Percy can’t put his finger on why, but he can tell that that means he has to work even more to prove himself and get the job. He’ll have to work even harder than his dad, and he’s seen how tired his dad can be sometimes. He’s heard his parents talking about money too, when they think no one is listening. All the effort his dad puts in, and it’s still barely enough for them to get by. When he realizes this, Percy becomes even more sure about what he wants.

The first step will be at Hogwarts. Bill just ended his second year, and Charlie will start in September. Percy is lucky, he thinks. He’s got two big brothers he can ask questions to and learn from, so it’s like he starts school before he’s really old enough. Once he's there, he'll be the best, because being the best at school means being smart. And if there's one thing Percy knows how to be, its smart. Bill told him about the school's prefects too, how they make sure other students do what they're supposed to do, and Percy decides he's going to be one of those. Then he'll graduate, and get a job at the Ministry (like his dad, but not _just_ like his dad), and do whatever to show that he's the right man for the job.

He tells his family his big decision, and their reactions are... mixed. Ginny doesn't understand and Ron is too little to care. The twins don't really care either; they just scrunch up their noses and say that it sounds boring. Percy retorts that it's _not_ boring, it's gonna be a better job than whatever they end up doing. When he tells Charlie, there's at least some excitement. He grins and tells Percy that its a great idea, even if its clear that its a generic response. When he tells Bill... well, Bill is thirteen and moody, so when he wishes Percy luck, its about as much as he could have expected.

His mother squeezes his cheeks and calls him her big dreamer. As a kid, Percy smiles. As an adult, Percy questions if that was her polite way of saying that his head was in the clouds. 

His father is too tired when he gets home from work that day, so Percy isn't sure his declaration is even heard. But his dad does give him a smile, and that's validation enough for him.

He's going to be Minister of Magic. And when he is, he'll know exactly how to make the entire British wizarding society a better place. His family will be proud of him, too. He knows it.

( _He gets hired by the Ministry when he's seventeen, right out of Hogwarts. Contrary to what he'd been hoping for for years, any bit of pride his family might have had is soon overshadowed, but that's okay. He's proud of himself, and doesn't that matter more?_ )

* * *

Percy is ten when he has his first panic attack.

He won’t have a name for it until almost a decade later, when he’s accepted them as just being a thing that happens to him. But even without knowing what it was at the time, he distinctly recalls how his hands shake and his chest tightens when he can't find his younger siblings. Dad's at work, Mum is mending clothes upstairs, and he's supposed to be in charge. He’d just gone into the kitchen for a second and when he returns, all four of the kids were gone.

(It doesn't matter that he's just a kid too; whenever Bill and Charlie are away at school, that means Percy is the oldest one in the house and that means he can't be a kid. He has to be The Big Brother.)

His thoughts are telling him to look for them, that rationally (for all his ten year old brain knows what that means) they’d probably gone outside or to one of their rooms and he could find them easily if he just looks. Looking would require moving though, and other than his shaking, Percy _can't_ move. His legs feel like lead. What if they’d gone outside and ran too far off their property and got lost? What if the twins had convinced the younger two to play with the ghoul? What if they’d wandered off and been found by someone? What if Mum had come downstairs, seen them unsupervised, and decided Percy was too irresponsible? _whatifwhatifwhatif_

“—cy?” The sound is muffled in his ears, like he's underwater, but its still there. Its only when the room comes back into focus that he realizes how blurry his vision has gotten. And it's only when he sees the four little redheaded figures crowded around him that he realizes he was gulping for air like a fish out of water. “Are you okay?”

Percy doesn't know which of the twins is talking, but he can tell that its one of them, just like he can tell that Ginny’s hand is tugging at the bottom of his shirt, and that Ron is looking at him like he’d just sprouted three heads and a tail. “I’m…”

“Go get Mum.”

“No!” Looking back on it as an adult, Percy knows that it was the fear of being seen as different that makes him sound so angry at George's suggestion. If they’d told Molly, she would fuss and worry and Percy would be embarrassed that he’d freaked out for literally no reason, because the kids were right there now. They were fine.

At ten though, he doesn't have the words to articulate any of that. It is just bad enough that they’d seen him like that, he couldn’t let his Mum think something was wrong. “No, I’m fine, you guys…” He's still shaking but his breathing is slowing down enough for him to talk, even though his brain seems to be wadding through muck to think properly.

When he was finally able to speak, he asks where they’d all gone. Ron readily admits that Fred and George had started an impromptu game of hide and seek, with Percy as they unknowing finder. In response, and in part thanks to his still muddled brain, he snaps at the twins that that wasn’t funny, and lectures the younger two on why they shouldn’t do everything they’re told. They whine and groan and Fred and George insist that “it was just a joke”. Percy’s headache and dizziness aren't a joke though, and he tells them all to just play quietly until Mum is done.

The last thing he tells them before settling down to read is that they shouldn’t tell their parents that he’d gotten weird. Whether because they were still annoyed with him, or because none of them thought it was worth mentioning, the four them agree to keep their mouths shut.

( _At nineteen, when he’s alone in his small London flat, huddled on the floor with his back against the bed and grappling with the news of his father’s hospitalization, he tries to remember the twins saying his name and Ron’s fear and Ginny’s small hand curled into his shirt. Those memories helped to keep him grounded during the dozens of Moments that he’d had since he was ten. Now, thinking about how each and every one of them probably hated him, the memories just make the entire situation worse_ ).

* * *

Percy is eleven when he gets sorted.

It isn't until he'ssitting on the stool, with over a hundred pairs of eyes on him, that he wonders where he would be put. Gryffindor had been the only house that existed to him. Sure, he knows there were others. But his entire family was in Gryffindor, so why wouldn’t he be? Maybe that isn't enough.

Kids who liked learning went to Ravenclaw. Percy likes to learn — it was why he’d always sneak a peak at Bill and Charlie’s textbooks long before he was at an appropriate age for them. Kids who are hard workers went to Hufflepuff. Percy is a hard worker! He knows he was, much more so than any of his younger siblings and even more than the older ones at time. He has to work hard to make sure things go how they're supposed to. Even Slytherin, which he _knows_ he shouldn’t think about, isfor people who’d do anything to get what they wanted. Percy knows what he wanted out of his life already, and while he knows that every bad person he’s ever heard about hailed from Slytherin, were they bad just because they’d gone after what they wanted?

He has to be Gryffindor. Maybe for other kids it was a choice, but he _has_ to be Gryffindor. From under the hat's brim, what part of it that wasn't covering his eyes, he spots Charlie and Bill at the Gryffindor table. Bill, sporting his shiny new Prefect badge. Charlie, who’d told him on the train that he’d save him a seat for once he was sorted. His parents are probably already awaiting the letter saying that another Weasley had joined the lion’s pride.

Eventually, Percy has to squeeze his eyes shut, just so he stops having to look at his brothers.

Most everyone else had been sorted right away, if not after a few seconds. One girl had been there a minute until the hat sent her to Hufflepuff, but Percy was sure that he’d been sitting here a bit longer than that. There really was something wrong about him, wasn’t there? That was the only explanation. He had magic but he wasn’t brave enough or nice enough or smart enough or cunning enough for any of the houses. It had been over a year since he'd had that first Moment, when his heart had raced and his vision had gone fuzzy, but Percy is suddenly gripped with the worry that that same thing would happen again if he doesn't calm his thoughts. Right here. In the middle of the Great Hall on his very first day. With everyone looking at him. 

Up until that moment, Percy didn't know that the hat could talk directly to you. His brothers had mentioned nothing like that; neither had his parents or any of the Hogwarts-related history books he'd read over the last eleven years. So when its voice echoed through his ears, completely unexpected, it tugged him out of his own brain simply from surprise. " _Calm down, boy. Not every one is as easy as your brothers_." 

If he's taken aback by the fact that the hat can communicate on a one-to-one level, it's trumped by the fact that Percy has a point to prove. Not as easy as his brothers? What did that even _mean_? His brothers were Gryffindors just like his parents had been Gryffindors, so logically that's where he would be too! " _Your family's bravery is what got them in Gryffindor, not their last name. You, on the other hand..._ " Again, what did that _mean_? Percy knows he isn't as brave as the rest of his family, but for the hat to put it so bluntly is... jarring, to say the least. He's only eleven though; at eleven, Percy is still very much in pursuit of belonging and feeling like he's a part of his family. If he's put anywhere but Gryffindor, he's sure they'll still love him. It would make him different though. Then, the hat's voice rings in his ears, a sentence that will keep Percy up late at night for years to come:

" _Your ambition would help you excel in Slytherin._ " 

Impossible. The mere _thought_ that anything about him was on par with the darkest minds in wizarding history makes Percy feel physically sick. And he bites back again, letting the hat know just how insane that entire idea is. He might be ambitious, but he's a good guy. He tries to be, at least, and that's more than can be said for anything he's ever heard about those sneaky snakes.

In the end, he's pretty sure his stubbornness is what convinces the hat that he's meant for Gryffindor. Not any bit of inherent bravery. Not his strong leadership skills that, as an older sibling, he's been cultivating most of his life. Its his refusal to back down from what he knows is right (and what he wants, but that's far too Slytherin for him to think about). He later finds out he was on the stool for a little under four minutes when the hat finally shouts out, "GRYFFINDOR!"

The table cheers, his brothers loudest of all. Percy walks to join his new house with his head held high and his back straight, not giving any hint that he'd just been bordering on a crisis. As promised, Charlie had saved him a seat. "Took you long enough!" He jokes, and even though Percy doesn't find it very fun, he forces a smile. Bill, who sat with his friends through the sorting, l takes time once the feast has begun to come over and congratulate Percy fully. It's obvious that he hadn't expected any different, but the validation is still nice. And when Bill, in his second year of being a prefect, helps direct the first years to their new home, Percy finds himself hoping he really does belong.

( _Despite his last name being at the end of the alphabet, he was the first boy sorted in to Gryffindor that year. He was quickly followed by a bright-eyed Scottish boy who is sorted almost immediately. For most of the year, Percy resents Oliver for how quickly he was put in the proper house. Or he tries to resent him, anyways. Oliver doesn't make it easy, with his natural charm and extroversion. It also isn't helped by the way Oliver_ insists _on engaging Percy, especially after he finds out that Percy's brother is on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Once that gets out, Percy prepares himself to be relegated to being Charlie's Brother, even in the confines of his own bedroom._

_Oliver doesn't do that though. He hero-worships Charlie, sure. But he also still talks to Percy like normal. He pesters him for help on homework, and rants about how unfair it is that they won't let him try out for Quidditch. He offers Percy something from every care-package he gets sent from home, and over the months of their first year, Percy discovers that coming back to Gryffindor tower at the end of the day wouldn't be half as relaxing if he didn't have Oliver's familiar voice and bright smile to greet him._

_Oliver is Percy's first real friend, and when Percy confides in him at the end of the year about how the hat thought about putting him in Slytherin, Oliver just shakes his head._ That's crazy _, he says._ You're more of a Gryffindor than anyone I know.)

* * *

Percy is twelve when he has his first kiss.

No, that's not right.

Percy is twelve when someone kisses him for the first time.

During his first year, his brothers had been polite enough to not blatantly tell him to go away, but Percy knew that was what they wanted whenever he was around either of them. Which he gets — when he's at home, he doesn't want to play with his little brothers. Bill and Charlie have lives here, it makes sense that they don't want to hang out with their little brother either. And while Oliver is his closest friend, Oliver is also fairly popular and has other people to hang out with. So, Percy became used to spending a good portion of his time alone. Until he meets Duncan.

Duncan Higgs is someone he met on a night when Percy couldn't sleep and had wandered into the common room to get some reading done. He never did find out what Duncan was doing up too. At the time, he hadn't cared. He'd just sat down at a table by the fireplace, soon interrupted by a tall figure taking the spot opposite him. Duncan had asked Percy questions about himself, not about his brothers. He'd listened to Percy talk. He was charming and brave and let Percy ramble about all of the things his family would have shut him down for. Duncan, very quickly, made Percy feel seen, like the things he wanted in life were actually attainable rather than silly daydreams. 

Duncan Higgs is also four years older than him, a sixth year to Percy's second.

When Charlie finds out that Duncan has been hanging around his little brother, he pulls Percy aside and tells him that he needs to stop. And when Percy decides that Charlie doesn't know what he's talking about, Bill gets dragged into it too. They end up cornering Percy a few weeks before Christmas holiday to "talk to him". Like always, Bill speaks with all the wisdom of a first born and Charlie speaks the things that Bill dances around. Neither of them know Duncan, not really. He's sandwiched between the two of them in school years though, so apparently that means they both knew _enough_. _Duncan isn't a good person,_ they'd said. Something about Duncan not having any friends in his own year, and everyone thinking he was weird, and why would he want to be hanging around a kid in the first place?

As an adult, Percy _knows_ that his brothers hadn't meant anything rude by that last line. As an adult, Percy is able to look back and see perfectly well that a sixteen year old had no business treating a twelve year old the way Duncan had treated him. When he _is_ one of those twelve year olds though, Percy doesn't care about his brothers' warnings. They're just jealous that Percy had found someone cooler than them to hang around. Someone who cared about him, and would meet up with him after class to show him some of the grounds' hidden gems. Someone who didn't make Percy feel like he needed to be anything or anyone else.

So when Duncan pushes Percy up against the wall of greenhouse three, behind the building where they can't be seen, he doesn't know how to react.

Not just because it's his first kiss, though that is a big part. But because Percy had never thought of Duncan _like that_ before. He'd only recently started to think of anyone _like that_. It makes sense though, When Duncan would sit across from him at dinner and smiled at him, it made Percy's stomach feel like it was doing somersaults. There had even been a time when Duncan was helping him tackle a particularly difficult astronomy chart, that his hand had brushed over Percy's in a way that made his face flush hot. So maybe he'd never outright thought of Duncan _like that,_ but he finds he doesn't mind the idea of kissing Duncan.

In theory, that is.

When Duncan kisses Percy, its out of the blue. And rough. And he either doesn't know ( _or doesn't care_ , his brothers will later say) that Percy has never done this before, so he just stands there confused while Duncan nips and licks and controls. He presses Percy back, hard, against the greenhouse wall, so much so that the pain almost makes Percy pull away. At twelve, Percy is getting ready to hit a growth spurt, but is still awkwardly skinny. When one of Duncan's hands curls against his hip, Percy can't move even if he wanted to. 

(He doesn't know if he wants to.)

Later when they're walking back to the castle, Duncan holds his hand and tells him that he likes him. Which... Percy had already picked up on, the bruise on his left hip is proof of that. Actually hearing Duncan say it aloud makes him grin though, possible the largest smile he'd had since starting at Hogwarts. That feeling, more than anything else, is why Percy doesn't question it when Duncan says that this should be a secret between them. Because Percy gets it. If they say anything, then Bill and Charlie will find out for sure. They wouldn't understand. No one would understand, because what Percy and Duncan have is personal. If it means that Percy can have something that is entirely his own, then he is more than happy to keep his mouth shut.

( _When Percy is a seventh year and Ginny is a second, he overhears a group of Hufflepuff boys make crude comments when she walks by. Within an hour, he's reported them all to Professor Sprout, and told them each personally to never look at his little sister again, or any of the younger students for that matter. Its as close to a threat as he ever came to making while in school.)_

* * *

Percy is thirteen the first time he gets drunk.

Earlier that day, Gryffindor had won a particularly intense Quidditch game against Slytherin, so clearly a celebration was in order. Percy has attended every Quidditch game since he started at school, first to cheer on Charlie and then later because Duncan said he liked the company. Percy preferred when he was going for his brother, but he couldn't very well say no to Duncan. He had actually been looking forward to this game, though. It was Oliver's first match against Slytherin since joining the team, so now there are two people to root for. As best he could, anyway. Whenever either Charlie or Oliver had made a particularly impressive move, Percy's first instinct had been to stand from his seat. After the first two times he'd done that, Duncan had taken to gripping Percy's knee a bit harder than what was necessary, silently telling him that he should stop getting up.

Duncan did a lot of things a bit harder than what was necessary. Like grab Percy's wrists to follow him. Or scold him if he didn't like what Percy was doing. Or press up against him when the two of them were alone, even if all Percy wanted was to talk like they used to.

Now isn't the time for that though! Now, someone has slipped in a few bottles of firewhiskey, the fireplace has been charmed to play music, and the majority of Gryffindor house is well on its way to intoxication. Charlie, Oliver, and the rest of the team are heralded as heroes. The twins, in their first-year, are happy just to be included, and somehow that makes them more tolerable. It had been a good day. It was supposed to be a good evening, too.

To this day, Percy isn't sure how Duncan got him to drink. Maybe it was his excitement after seeing both his brother and his best friend bring the team to victory, or maybe it was just so that Duncan would stop trying to coax him in to getting drunk like everyone else. _Just one cup?_ He'd asked. So Percy did. It was different than any brand of firewhiskey he'd smelled in the past, but he hadn't thought anything of it. Not with the music pounding in his ears and the raucous celebration happening around him. And Duncan had looked so happy when Percy downed half the cup — it had been a long time since he had looked happy with anything Percy did. Wanting to make him smile more, Percy drank the rest of the cup and ignored how awful it tasted and the way that it burned his throat.

Everything after that is either a blur or a retelling of events he picked up from other people. Somehow Duncan convinced him to dance. He slightly remembers Charlie coming up to him and asking if he had been drinking, to which he'd apparently shouted, " _hell yeah, I have!_ " Percy hugged his brother and told him what a great game he'd played. Duncan got him to dance some more. The twins told him he should drink more often, if it made him this much fun. Then Duncan promised to help Percy get to bed. Percy closed his eyes, thinking to himself that he should get water first. 

When he next opens his eyes, he's alone in a bed that isn't his own in a dormitory that isn't the third years'. Everything hurt. 

_Everything_ hurt. 

Percy has never had the luxury of feeling things in the moment, so his body runs on autopilot when he finds his clothes scattered on the ground and tugs them back on. His glasses are folded on the nightstand beside the bed, and for a second he thinks how thoughtful that was, before feeling sick to his stomach. He still isn't paying attention when he leaves the seventh year dorms to go back to his, and is only stopped when he literally runs into Charlie. Charlie, who only faintly smells like alcohol and apologizes for almost knocking Percy over, until he stops to take an actual look at his younger brother. _What happened, Perce?_ Somehow, even though his head is pounding and he can't make eye contact without wanting to puke, Percy can tell that Charlie knows the answer already.

He doesn't see Duncan after that.

( _When Percy is twenty-four and Charlie is twenty-eight, and they're both sitting up on Christmas Eve at the Burrow after everyone else has gone to sleep, he finally has the courage to ask what happened to Duncan. Charlie tells him about how he tracked him down to the lake, and that he didn't need magic to break two of his teeth. He'd been given two options: leave or staff would be informed._ The creep was seventeen, no one could stop him from dropping out. Figured that was a better option than everyone finding out that he'd - _Charlie doesn't finish that sentence, and Percy is glad._ _He also tells Percy that he never told anyone, but that he wishes he had. Percy tells Charlie that he should have listened to him and Bill when he had the chance._

_Charlie tells him it wasn't his fault._

_Percy isn't sure how to respond to that.)_

* * *

Percy is fifteen when he kisses someone for the first time and it doesn’t hurt.

Penny smells like roses and fresh ink, and he could tell by the taste on her lips that she’d had cherry delight for that evening’s dessert. The two of them had been sharing a table in the library for months now. It started with trying to get rid of the other so that they could each have the table to themselves . It was in the perfect location, you see — next to a window that lets enough sunshine pour in without it being overbearing, and in between the aisles dedicated to magical history from years 1541-1547, and astronomy. When neither of them had conceded in giving up the table, they’d agreed to share. At first begrudgingly, but over time it shifted to them swapping study tips and stress headaches as they cram for the O.W.L.s.

It was their table. Kissing Penny for the first time in any other location would just feel wrong.

And as soon as he does, Percy isn't sure how he hasn't done it already. All the months of sharing their table, and all the nights they’d paired up for patrol, and all the weekends she’d convinced him to enjoy himself rather than sulk alone in Gryffindor Tower. It was pretty backwards, a Ravenclaw getting a Gryffindor to let go, but somehow it works for them. Penny tells him about her muggle upbringing, and how the thing she misses most when she's at school (other than her family) is her piano back home. In turn, Percy tells her about each of his siblings and his aspirations, and how he thinks he's going to lose his mind with all the O.W.L.s he's working towards, but it'll be worth it in the end.

She smiles at him and listens. Not in the way that Duncan would smile and listen, like he was just going along with whatever Percy said in order to get what he wanted. Penny makes sure that he goes to meals at least twice a day and that he stays hydrated, tells him that she's seen enough of her housemates lose their minds over trying to be the best and "I don't want that to happen to you, too". She hums to herself when she's trying to remember something particularly difficult, and every time she does, Percy looks up from his textbooks to stare at her. Without him having to say anything, she knows to hum just a bit louder for him.

Penelope Clearwater cares. That's what it is; she cares about Percy and his well-being, not because she thinks she can get something out of it but because she just _does_. 

Percy likes her. When she kisses back, he's pretty sure she likes him too. And when they return to their studying, holding each others hands underneath the table, its the happiest Percy has felt in a very long time.

( _Ginny finds out a year later, and Percy can't stand to think about having his little piece of happiness ruined by his family knowing. So he swears her to secrecy, but she ends up telling anyway. As expected, its met with teasing from his brothers. Not meant to be malicious. He doubts anything they did was meant to be malicious, but that didn't make their taunts any easier to hear. He wishes they knew just how much Penny was a breath of fresh air, considering the first, last, and only poor excuse for a relationship that he had to his name. That would mean admitting to it, though, and Percy has spent years convincing himself that things with Duncan didn't still hurt, that he was past it._

_Telling his family about how much Penny meant to him would be confronting how much he still had to recover from. He's not ready for that just yet.)_

* * *

Percy is sixteen the first time he doubts Dumbledore.

The doubt doesn't come crashing down on him at once. It's like the trickle of a leaky faucet, small drops falling one by one until there's too much to ignore. And over the next few years of his life, Percy will come to doubt Dumbledore time and time again and, by extension, doubt everything he's been told since the day he was born. But at sixteen, he wakes up to his mother asking if he knew where the younger boys were and if they'd taken his dad's car.

Percy hadn't thought anything of Harry when first meeting him. How could he have? It wasn't until the sorting ceremony that he realized who the kid even was. Prior to that, Percy had assumed that some muggleborn had been sent alone to King's Cross. A bit negligent, but he'd been too focused on his impending prefect duties to pay much attention. Even when he spent a solid year watching Harry and Ron's friendship grow, Percy still hadn't paid too much attention. In hindsight, he should have noticed something was off much sooner. He didn't though. He didn't think about how Harry wolfed down food as if he hadn't eaten in months, or how his clothes were much too big for him whenever Percy saw him in something other than school robes. Sure he had strong thoughts at the end of the year, when word got around that three first years (including his baby brother) had saved the school. But he didn't think anything off about Harry, nothing outside of the fact that he was Ron's best friend and that he'd been a hero as long as Percy could remember.

When he went downstairs for breakfast that summer of '92, going on an hour of sleep after Molly's frantic searching, he hears the twins and Ron try toexplain themselves. Not to him, oh no. Percy had learned a long time ago that the three of them couldn't care less about his approval or disapproval. They hadn't been trying to convince him of anything, but Percy still listens as they tell Molly about the conditions they'd found Harry in. To call it appalling would be an understatement. And, when he remembers Harry's attire and eating habits and the way he'd occasionally flinch if someone spoke too loudly, all things Percy had ignored the year before, he does what any responsible almost-adult would do.

He writes Professor Dumbledore.

Surely Dumbledore would do something about it. Harry would be staying with them for the remainder of the summer, and most likely for Christmas holiday if Molly had anything to say about it. But somehow, Percy doubts that either of his parents would think ahead to next summer. If Dumbledore knew about Harry's relatives... _neglect_ seemed to cover the bare minimum of the situation. If Dumbledore was told about this now, then he could do something to make sure it didn't happen again. At the very least, he should be made aware of his students.

Once he's sent Hermes off with the letter, Percy has to wonder if Dumbledore already knew.

He pushes that thought away quickly enough though. No, whatever was happening at Harry's relatives' home must have been a recent development. That was the only explanation, even if it did nothing to make sense of how Harry had acted during his first year. Dumbledore hadn't known. But now, because of Percy, he would be made aware that something was wrong, and he would make it right. 

By the time Ron and Harry crash land into the Whomping Willow after _yet again stealing the car_ (he'd thought the twins would be the cause of his inevitable aneurysm, but Ron may very well join in), Percy has assumed that the Harry Situation was care of. Actually, by that time, he's overwhelmed with exasperation at the two of them to even remember that he'd sent a letter in the first place. And then he's too bust by notifying his mother, though he's sure a school official had already taken the time to do the same. And _then_ he's spending the start of year making sure Ginny settled in to classes alright. Its not until about two weeks into term that he's pulled from class by none other than Professor Dumbledore himself.

"I do ask your forgiveness that I didn't reply to your letter. There was much to attend to before the start of term, I'm sure you can imagine?" Percy can't imagine what preparation could supersede the safety of a student, but this is the headmaster he's talking to. So he just nods and says that yes, of course he understands. Dumbledore confirms that he did receive Percy's letter and that his concerns were noted. He also compliments Percy for being diligent in his prefect duties even when on summer holiday. The compliment works to lower his guard, too — right after it was given, Dumbledore assures Percy that he was doing everything he could to ensure Harry's home was safe, and that there is no need to worry. 

So Percy doesn't worry. If Dumbledore said Harry was safe, then he had to be safe. 

( _Except the following year, when Percy overhears from Ron that Harry ran away from his relative's house over the summer. And when Harry comes to stay with them for the World Cup the summer after Percy graduates and, like all the times Harry has stayed with them before, he devours whatever is put in front of him so quick that it's a wonder it doesn't make him sick. Percy is sure that Harry is not, in fact, safe at home._

_What fully unlocks the door of doubt when it comes to Dumbledore isn't an event that involves Harry though. It's when Percy, all of eighteen years old and standing in for his boss at the Triwizard Tournament, hears Fleur Delacour frantically screaming when she thinks her little sister will die in the lake. The Ministry claimed that extra precautions had been put in to place to guarantee no one would die this time around, Percy knows. But Fleur is still screaming, up until the moment that Harry's head bobs to the surface with Gabrielle Delacour in tow — and, as it has been since they were first years, Ron at his side._

_Percy can't be sure that the Ministry had any control over the merpeople, but seeing as how the lake was on Hogwarts' grounds, Dumbledore had to have had some say in what happened to the students chosen as bait. Including his little brother. It's Percy who rushes to make sure Ron is alright, forgetting that he is supposed to be there as an unbiased delegate from the Ministry. And Ron seems fine, if not a little bit shaky from the ordeal. He's good at hiding it, but he lets Percy fuss over him long enough (before pushing away to rejoin his friends) that they both know he's not fully alright._

_When Percy goes back home at the end of the day, he can't convince himself that Ron would've been alright if Harry had failed. He can't convince to himself that Fleur Delacour wasn't justified in her worry over her sister. And he can't convince himself that Dumbledore is a good guy._ )

* * *

Percy is also sixteen when his baby sister is dragged into the Chamber of Secrets. 

When he'd gotten word that Penelope had been petrified, it felt like the worst thing that could possibly happen. Worse than Duncan, even. Hearing from Professor McGonagall that Ginny had been taken, though... that felt like the world might actually end. And the worst part, the absolute worst thing of all, is that Percy can't do a single thing about it.

Percy always knows what to do, and if for some reason he doesn't, then he is very good at pretending he knows. In his lifetime, he's read more books and learned more facts than he could possibly quantitate. He had gotten _twelve OWLs_ in his fifth year for Merlin's sake, all while juggling his Prefect duties. At this rate, he'll be surprised if he doesn't get the Head Boy position next year. Because he's _Percy_ , which in his family is synonymous with overachieving and always knowing the right course of action.

More importantly than being someone with official duties as determined by the school though, Percy is supposed to be the big brother. And he had _known_ that something was wrong with Ginny, had known it from the first few weeks. He figured it was typical first-year adjustment, but even the most homesick kids settled in soon enough. Ginny hadn't; in fact, as the months had gone by, she only seemed to get paler and thinner. So Percy kept an eye on her, pestered her to come to dinner most nights, even managed to get her to down a Pepperup potion at one point. It hadn't been enough though. Was that why she had been taken? Because she was physically weak, and her brother (not the oldest, but the oldest on hand for the time being) hadn't done enough to make sure she was okay?

Did Percy play a part in this?

Percy was able to tolerate exactly four minutes of silence, sitting with Ron and the twins after McGonagall told them the news, before he retreats back to his own dormitory. He can't just sit there, knowing he'd failed to keep Ginny safe and seeing the looks on his brothers' faces that he _also_ can't do anything about. Oliver is in the room when he gets there, and has the common sense not to ask if Percy is okay (he's not ) or if there's anything Oliver can do (there isn't). Whathe does do, is clap Percy on the shoulder and say that he'll be on the field if Percy needs anything. Once he leaves, Percy is alone, like he's been so many other times in his life. This is different though. Percy alone and _useless_.

He can handle most emotions that are thrown his way, but uselessness is one that he's never (and will never) be able to grasp. It's something he's only felt a handful of times in his life, _if that._ What good is he if he can't make sure the people who depend on him are alright? He could hound his siblings to do their homework, and make sure that they ate enough, and do everything he'd unintentionally picked up form his mother over the years, but what _use_ was it now? If he had any less dignity, Percy would have screamed. Kicked at his nightstand. Done something to get all of these feelings out of him.

But he can't do that. He's not sure _why_ he can't do it, he just knows that he can't. It's not the _Percy_ way to react.So he does the only thing he knows how to do, which is be the responsible one and pen a letter to his parents. He isn't sure if they've been informed yet, but he doesn't trust Dumbledore enough to bet on it. Something should have been done as soon as the first student was petrified. This could have been avoided. This _should_ have been avoided. That's what Percy tells himself while trying to keep the letter as straight forward as he can manage. If its his fault for not taking care of Ginny, then at least some of the blame had to be put on the actual adults in the situation.

Its no less his fault, but he's not deluding himself into thinking otherwise.

( _In the end, it falls on a prepubescent boy to save the school for the second year in a row. When Percy receives his Head Boy badge in the mail later, he's ecstatic. In part because its one step closer to his ultimate life plan; in part because maybe now he'll be in a position to fully keep his siblings safe, because clearly no one else is going to do it._ )

* * *

Percy is eighteen, almost nineteen, when he yells vile, nasty things at his father and leaves home.

The thing is, while they may have been awful things, Percy knows that they're true. Most of them, anyway. It was unfair of him to put the family's poverty entirely on his father's shoulders, when he knows that Arthur is an incredibly hard worker and that their financial situation was never a matter of him not being good at his job. It was a matter of him not being respected, which said more about the wizarding community than anything else.

Had they expected him to just stand there while they unintentionally undermined all of _his_ hard work, though? They believed that the only way he'd moved up in the Ministry was because his family had ties to Harry. _Percy_ didn't have ties to Harry, though. He barely knew the kid outside of the constant trouble Ron found himself in whenever they were together. And even if the Ministry wanted to use Percy for intel, there were other ways could've done it than making him junior assistant to Fudge. He wasn't so arrogant that he would just spill his family's private business to his new boss!

His family didn't want to accept that though. No, it couldn't be that Percy had proven himself, even with the debacle that had been Crouch's... _everything_ the year before. The Ministry had tried to blame him, as if he should have known that the boss he'd only had for a few months was under the Imperius curse. They tried to prove him wrong, but Percy stood his ground, and continued to show his loyalty and adaptiveness, and _that's_ how he got the job. If his family knew him at all, they wouldn't have been so quick to think the worst. He was given a position in the Ministry right out of school, with perfect grades under his belt and _in spite of his father_. 

His entire life, he'd been raised to know right from wrong. Good was right, bad was wrong. But the distinction between what was good and what was bad had become so blurred, how could Percy be expected to blindly follow like the rest of them? And his father still worked for the Ministry, the very organization they all seemed to think was out to take down Dumbledore! The man who'd been in the background of everything! No, Percy may be a lot of things, but naive isn't one of them. 

He ends up on Oliver's couch for a few months, just until he can get back on his feet. He visits Penny, still one of his closest friends regardless of their amicable break-up shortly before graduation, and finally hears her play the piano. He goes to work. He ignores the letters from his family — ones begging him to come home from his mother, Bill, and Charlie, and ones making sure he knows just how awful he is from the twins. He finds himself in Oliver's bed twice, once under the ruse of alcohol and once when completely sober, and then moves to his own place before he can fuck up yet another relationship.

He urges Ron to sever ties with Harry, because it's clear by now that that association will only lead to trouble.

He doesn't visit his father in the hospital when he's attacked.

He makes a life for himself, by himself. 

Percy is doing okay.

( _When He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's return is undeniable, Percy realizes he's trapped. The second he realizes that, he's catapulted back in time to when he was thirteen, head-over-heels for his abuser when he should have been listening to his family._ )

* * *

Percy is three weeks shy of his twenty-first birthday when he risks himself. 

By now, he knows he had made a mistake, though not a factual one. He is still firmly rooted in the belief that Dumbledore wasn't any more righteous than the the Ministry, but with You-Know-Who's return, and the disorder that has been the Ministry for months now, he can't fixate on his family's (and his own) rights and wrongs. Tensions have been particularly high at work, and Percy is convinced that he's going to end up dead from stress long before the war is over. But again, he can't fixate on that right now.

It's dangerous; just being alive in this day and age is dangerous, though. Despite years of proving his (albeit waning) loyalty to the Ministry, he's still sure he's being closely watched. So Percy transfigures a pile of clothes to vaguely resemble a human form and stuffs it into his bed. He'd been complaining of a cold all week at work; if someone _is_ monitoring his flat, it wouldn't be too odd for them to think he was laying in bed recovering all day. From there, it's a matter of transfiguring his appearance just enough to be hidden, and then sneaking out of his own flat.

His brother is getting married. Percy refuses to miss it, even if his family can't know.

He only stays for the ceremony, seated between some distant cousin and the Lovegoods. Fleur is as beautiful as he remembers. Bill, despite the scars marring his face, smiles so brightly that you'd forget the world is going to hell and back outside the tent. Percy applauds with the rest of the guest and then promptly leaves before the reception states. If he stays any longer. he might not be able to go back.

When he does return to his flat, he's met with an urgent message to get to work despite it being his day off. 

The Ministry has been taken, and as soon as he hears, Percy wishes he'd have stayed for the reception.

( _Months after the war is over, there comes a day when the whole family is reminiscing on the wedding. They all pointedly avoid looking at Percy when they do, not wanting to bring up the fact that he wasn't there. When the conversation is coming to a close, Percy can't stand it any longer and tells them that he_ had _been there. He even describes Fleur's dress as best he can, like he needs to prove that he's telling the truth. His mother cries. Fleur, three months pregnant with Victoire, cries. When he goes back to his own home that evening, Percy cries too._ )

* * *

Percy is twenty-one and the world is burning down around him.

He thinks of his youngest brother being referred to as a traitor, along with two other kids who Percy remembers from their first day at Hogwarts. He thinks of his father, whose sudden disappearance from work tells Percy his family is officially in hiding. He thinks of Penelope, who he doesn't dare write; all he can do is hope every single day that she won't be dragged in by that sham of a muggleborn commission. He thinks of Oliver, who can't enjoy what should be the height of his career when the world is at war. His professors, people who he had (mostly) admired now being forced to teach in a totalitarian regime. Harry, who Percy has never particularly _liked_ but who sure as hell does not deserve the weight of a dying world. He even thinks of Duncan, who doesn't deserve a single ounce of Percy's time, but if he hears of _any other person that he knows_ needlessly dying, that could very well be his breaking point.

He thinks of how happy Bill and Fleur had looked when he saw them, only for their wedding day to be ruined by something Percy had refused to accept until it was too late.

Percy is twenty-one. He thinks about a lot of things, each and every one of them punctuating the simple fact that he was wrong.

( _Percy is not okay ._ )

* * *

Percy is also twenty-one when he's properly reunited with his family.

Its short lived, because within a few hours, he'll watch one of his brothers die. All because Percy had made a joke in a very unjoking situation, and his brother had been distracted enough to be made an easy target.

( _Even when Percy is twenty-two, thirty-two, forty-two, fifty-two, he questions if returning to his family was worth losing Fred._ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: hasn't written fanfic since i was writing bad glee stories on ff.net back in the day  
> me at 3am in this, the year of our lord 2019: let's write 3,000 words in honor of percy, its what he deserves
> 
> me after coming back to edit this author's note before publishing: SO I GUESS ITS 9,000 WORDS INSTEAD cool
> 
> A FEW THINGS TO NOTE:  
> — the regular font sections are in linear order; the italics at the end of each section are non-linear  
> — this is tagged as canon compliant, but please note i haven't reread the books in years and i've largely been using the harry potter wiki to help keep shit straight  
> — the first chapter will focus on the years prior to and during the war. second chapter will be post-war, aka war recovery (and recovery in general) bc everyone needs it  
> — pls heed the trigger warnings in the tags  
> — i'm sure something here is mathematically incorrect but i'm gay and tired  
> — is it unlikely that percy and oliver are the only two boys in their year? yes. do i care? nah  
> — i changed my mind on tense about 2/3 of the way through and went back to edit as best i could but again, i'm gay and tired  
> — talk 2 me about percy on tumblr at mcnsieurfeuilly


	2. rebuild

Right after the war, Percy tends to forget that he's only twenty-one.

* * *

The day after the war ends, he — like everyone else — is in shock. Dozens are dead. His _brother_ is dead, but there's little time to grieve. For all his years of keeping control, Percy finds himself cracking, and in between helping to clear away the rubble and checking in those still among the living, he has no less than three panic attacks in the following days.

The first time is when he realizes he's standing in the same spot where Fred had died, and he's overwhelmed with the thought that it should have been him instead. He's meant to be cleaning, but the sight of Fred's face is still burned into his memories. Percy manages to run to a barely intact corridor nearby, one that's already been checked and is now empty. He slides to the ground and, not for the first time, finds himself hoping its all one giant nightmare he'll soon wake from. 

The second time, Ginny finds him. He's not sure what triggers it; he just knows that his hands start to shake and his sister — his baby sister, who he so vividly remembers holding for the first time — is rubbing his back and telling him to breathe. Later, once he regains himself and Ginny forces him into the Great Hall to take a break, she tells him that the same thing used to happen to her, following the diary incident in her first year. Its strange; when Percy last spoke to Ginny, _actually_ spoke with her outside of that debacle two Christmases ago, she was still a kid. For all intents and purposes, she _is_ still a kid. She's sixteen, but she speaks with the tired voice of someone much older. The two of them sit in silence for a bit, knowing there's still so much work to do and taking time is a luxury no one can afford. For a few minutes though, Percy has his sister back.

The third panic attack happens after overhearing others discussing the Ministry. One comments that " _anyone who still had the nerve to work there should be thrown in Azkaban_ ", as if leaving would have been an easy thing to do. They're right in what they say though. Percy had sat at his desk for months, knowing damn well what was going on and being unable to stop it. When he'd managed to make contact with Aberforth, it was a last ditch effort to say that he had done _something_. But _something_ wasn't enough. When he begins to lose focus this time, he's guided away by an arm over his shoulders. There's no one telling him to breathe this time, but there is a voice in his ear saying that he's alright. When the brunt of it passes, exhausted though its made him, Percy finds Oliver at his side. They don't talk, but both know they don't have to.

* * *

Three days after the war ends, they bury Fred. Percy doesn't think he'll ever forget the sound of his mother's crying, or the look on George’s face after the service. Its almost fitting, since he doesn't think he'll ever forget the smile on Fred's corpse.

* * *

Five days after the war ends, when all the dead have been laid to rest and the castle is at least cleared of debris, Oliver asks if Percy would like to go home with him. Percy replies that he’s staying with his parents for the time being, as if that’s an answer. Its clear Oliver hadn't been expecting that, of all things, but he doesn't push. No one has the energy to push nowadays.

It isn’t until later that night, in his old bed in his old room in a house that no longer feels right, that Percy wonders if Oliver had been asking for company as much as he’d been offering it.

* * *

Two weeks after the war ends, and the thought of returning to work makes him physically sick. That doesn't stop Kingsley Shacklebolt from stopping by, now that Percy is back in his own place. “We need all the good people we can get.” Percy doesn’t correct him on how he’s not a good person; he just nods and says he’ll be in the next day.

* * *

Three weeks after the war ends, he gets into a fight with his father. Again.

Except not again.

In the time that has passed since his reconciliation, Percy and Arthur have yet to say anything of substance to each other. It's to be expected — they're still grieving. _Everyone_ is still grieving . But he's spoken one-on-one with most of his siblings at least once, and with his mother at least a dozen times. There's still a tension whenever he and his father are in the same room though, one that goes beyond the exhaustion that's set into all of their bones over the last three weeks. But Percy has always refused to be a bystander in his own life, so he extends an olive branch for his father to come by when he gets a chance.

It's not intended to be a fight. Just like before, Percy's the first to raise his voice. Unlike before, this time there’s no scathing blame. When Percy screams, its after ten awkward minutes of shuffling about his flat, their stunted conversations so thick they may as well be tangible. And Percy is _tired_. His father is tired too, he can see it in the slouch of his shoulders and the heavy shadows under his eyes. Percy loses it. He yells and rants and begs his dad to tell him what he needs to do to fix it.

"Fix what?" Arthur snaps, and Percy has to remember that for all the knowledge his father has, he's always been utterly clueless when it comes to emotions.

(Not that Percy is much better, but he learned to at least recognize them once feeling them became a luxury.) 

There's so much that Percy knows he can't fix, and the blood on both of their hands (and the empty seat at the kitchen table and the missing smile on George's face) screams that louder than nothing else. He's not pretending that he can fix his father's pain at this point, so instead he screams back that he wants to fix _them_. Its another stretch of silence after that, very clear that neither of them is leaving without either repairing or permanently burning the few bridges they had left. Then, unlike their now previous fight, Arthur finally meets Percy's eyes to say, "You didn't come home."

Throughout his life, Percy had been raised to believe that there was nothing he or his siblings could do that would ever make their parents stop loving them. The number of times Charlie tried to sneak gnomes into the house, or all of the nonsense the twins got into on a weekly basis told him that. Ron had stolen a _car_ and driven it to Hogwarts, and his parents' anger had still come from a place of loving concern. Percy liked to think he operated on the opposite wavelength of most of his brothers — he lived to succeed and be a child his family could be proud of. After a while, that urge to make them proud had morphed into ambition on all fronts, but when he got that promotion at the Ministry, his first thought had been how he couldn't wait to go home and tell them about it. He was eighteen, almost nineteen years old, and yet he still wanted nothing more than to hear his dad congratulate him. 

"You never _asked_ me to come home." And there it is. The grievance that's been digging at Percy's mind ever since he walked out. He's pretty sure he mentioned it once to Oliver, when the two of them were drinking soon after Percy appeared on his doorstep looking for a place to stay. Everything about that fight had been painful, but putting aside his own hubris, Percy knows he would have met his father halfway. He could have sat down and had a rational talk about their different ideologies, he could have apologized for the things he'd blamed Arthur for. Chances are he still would have left home, but not to the degree where he lost three years of his life. Those differences weren't what slammed the door on reconciliation for Percy.

The silence from his father did.

His mother had written, begging him to come home. Bill had also written, saying he would drag him back if need be, and even Charlie had sent a letter, though Percy suspected that was a last ditch effort of Molly's. He hadn't expected anything from his younger siblings, but he had _at least_ expected his dad to do something. At a certain point, Percy would've even accepted it if his father lost all decorum at work and called him out right in the middle of the Ministry's atrium. Yelling would have been better than three years of _nothing_.

For the second time, in three weeks and in three years, Percy is surprised when his dad pulls him in for a hug. It's different than the one during the battle — that had been full of fear, though everything about that night had been full of fear. A semi-happy ending, if they all would have died ( _like Fred like Fred like Fred, no don't think about that., this is a good moment_ ). Now when he hugs Percy, and when Percy hugs back, it feels like something akin to a beginning.

* * *

A month after the war ends, Percy gets a knock on his door early in the morning. He doesn't know what he expects, but it's definitely not to see Penny standing on his threshold, wide-eyed and thinner than he’d ever seen. She's alive though, and for all that Percy has been fighting back the urge to cry since the battle ended, seeing that she's safe safe is all he needs. She lets him cry, and tells him she had begun studying abroad at a conservatory in Italy right before the Ministry fell. He tells her about returning to his family and the small, unopened stack of letters from Oliver on his kitchen table.

The two of them sit on the hardwood floor of Percy's flat, drinking too-strong tea that neither complains about. Percy fidgets with a loose thread on his shirt. Penny taps out a rhythm on the floorboards. If Percy didn't know any better, he'd swear they were back to being two seventeen year old kids, fresh out of school and ready to take on the world.

* * *

About a month and a half after the war ends, Percy gets an owl asking him to visit Shell Cottage. It takes him too long to realize that no, Bill's chicken-scratch handwriting has not become absurdly beautiful since he last saw it. Percy replies to his sister-in-law that he'll pop in some time that week.

Fleur is home and Bill is not, and Percy expects yet another bout of awkwardness that... just doesn't come. Instead, he's greeted with a kiss on his cheek and Fleur ushering him inside as if they've known each other for years rather than having just been properly introduced in the middle of chaos. And its strange, because by all logical sense, she should be the member of the Weasley family that Percy _leasts_ feel comfortable around. She joined their brood after he left, of course, and while he trusts that Bill didn't throw all of Percy's wrongdoings around, she must have heard things from his other siblings. 

What she has or has not heard is a question that goes unanswered. She sits him down and declares, "I've met the rest of my in-laws. It's time I met you, too." 

When Bill comes home hours later, he finds his wife and little brother smiling and laughing, or as close to laughing as anyone can manage at this point. And its just so damn _comforting_ , even though Percy doesn't deserve a bit of comfort nor an ounce of Fleur's kindness, to know that he can build a relationship with someone from the ground up rather than reconstructing it from ashes.

* * *

He's unsure of the exact time frame, but sometime between two and three months after the war ends, Percy apologizes to Harry.

Saying sorry to his family had been instinctual. When it comes to saying sorry to Harry though, Percy has to swallow all of pride. It goes down like broken glass, but it has to be done. Over the days, weeks, months that Percy works on reintegrating himself into the family, he learns that that (now more than ever) includes Harry too. He always had been, of course. Right from that summer of Percy's sixth year when Harry came to stay with them. It's even more obvious now though, from the way he stares at Ginny on the rare occasion the two aren't holding hands. He's Ron's best friend, Ginny's boyfriend (apparently), an honorary Weasley from day one.

Oh, and there's the small fact that the entire wizarding world owes him their lives.

He realizes he needs to apologize early on, but it takes a while for Percy to build up the courage to do so. Sometime in summer, he gets Harry alone — a difficult task indeed. Percy had prepared an entire speech of all the things he wanted to say, starting with how he shouldn't have doubted Harry the way that he did and ending with a declaration of how he understands if he's not forgiven. Once he actually asks for a moment of Harry's time though, Percy loses all of those words.

The thing is, Percy doesn't know if he can properly apologize without admitting that he still doesn't fully agree with the actions that had been taken. It worked out in the end (as much as it could be said that it worked out, when there is still an empty spot at the dinner table and George hasn't smiled in months). But from what he gathered from his family, and the members of the Order that had come in and out of the Burrow, their faith in Dumbledore had been just as fanatical as his faith in the Ministry. When he manages to get Harry alone for a moment, all Percy can think about is that letter he'd written Dumbledore once, raising concerns that were promptly ignored, and of all the times when his brother and sister had been put in harm's way.

When he does think of those times though, he also remembers how Harry had _saved_ his brother and sister. And how he had laid down his life for all of them. And that Christmas when he'd stayed at Hogwarts alongside Percy and his brothers, and had listened while Percy fed him advice during a chess game with Ron.

It had been easy, as Ron and Ginny's older brother, for Percy to think Harry a danger. A part of him still does, but before he's a danger, he's still just a kid, who'd been forced into fighting a war that never should have been.

When Percy is able to speak, after several awkward moments of stumbling over himself, it's rushed and nothing at all like what he'd drafted in his head. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

It's not enough, not by a long shot, but Percy thinks Harry understands. 

He doesn't know if he'll ever like Harry. Not after the times Percy has felt like he'll die of a heart attack, worrying over Ron and Ginny and the rest of his family who became intertwined in Harry's idiotic bravery. But he'll be damned if his respect isn't known. Maybe that's a start.

* * *

One night, too late for Percy to care to check the time or date, he's woken by a _pop_ in his living room. To say he was _woken_ is putting it lightly; Percy, like many people, doesn't sleep much nowadays, but he had managed to drift off after coming home from work. He's up as soon as he registers the noise though, wand at the ready.

When he walks out of his bedroom, he swears he sees a ghost. Its only when he notices that aforementioned ghost is missing an ear that Percy comes to his senses. 

According to their mother, George is trying to get the joke shop back up and running, but Percy bit his tongue not to question if that was the wisest idea. They've _talked_ since the battle, here and there. Percy, like the rest of their family, knows that George is suffering in a way none of them can understand, and quite frankly, as much as he cares for his brother, Percy doesn't _want_ to understand. In the time that he was on his own, it was easy to think of the twins as being nothing but pests who had teased and tormented Percy since the day they were born. All of their jokes and taunts, the howler they had sent following the fight, were safe memories because they didn't make him want to change his mind.

Fred took a piece of everyone when he did, but no one lost as much of themselves as George did. And although Percy hasn't played the role of big brother in years, he finds it an easy one to step back in to. He guides George to sit and boils water for tea (nothing caffeinated, not at this time of night). George still doesn't say anything. Percy doesn't expect him too.

Its' tense, but in a different way than it had felt when their father was in Percy's flat. There's not necessarily something unspoken _between_ them. Percy gets the feeling that George just has many things unspoken in general, and who can blame him? After a while, it's almost too difficult to keep his eyes open — there are still so few people working at the Ministry who actually know how to run things, so Percy's gotten used to working overtime. He's prepared to ask if George wants to spend the night, when the silence is finally broken.

"You were the last person he talked to, yeah?"

Percy boils water for more tea, fully caffeinated this time. He can handle another night without sleep for this.

* * *

He replies to Oliver's letters and asks if he'd like to get lunch. Afterwards, they end up at Percy's place. Oliver's hands are more calloused than he remembers, so unlike Penny's with her long fingers and soft palms. So _very_ unlike Duncan's, whose tended to leave Percy with bruised hips rather than anything resembling comfort. Its the closest thing to happiness he's felt in... quite possibly years, and when Percy realizes that, he stops. They're both already missing half of their clothes, Oliver's mouth is doing positively sinful things against his neck, and Percy's heart is so full while dozens of witches and wizards lay dead.

He doesn't deserve it, so he tells Oliver to go. When Oliver asks what's wrong, Percy doesn't know how to answer. He just keeps his mouth shut until Oliver stops prodding for answers and leaves anyway.

* * *

Ginny turns seventeen. His mother insists on everyone coming round, though no one dares to label it a party. Percy spends the afternoon off from the crowd, until he's flanked on either side by Ginny and Charlie to join the rest of them. He sits across from Hermione, and recommends her a list of books to brush up on if she still wants to take her N.E.W.T.s. Fleur takes the seat next to him and tells him the French name for each dish on the table. George announces that the joke shop is ready to reopen.

Before he leaves, he hugs Ginny and wishes her a happy birthday. She thanks him for coming.

* * *

Three months and three weeks after the war ends, Percy turns twenty-two. The world still turns, and he's still alive. He's starting to think that might not be a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL i'm trash at compliments but the sweet comments and all the kudos and bookmarks over this lil' brain nugget have got me feeling some type of way so thank u for anyone who read chapter one (and now chapter two).
> 
> this was originally going to be two chapters, with ch. 1 being percy before and during the war and then ch. 2 being everything afterwards but turns out i have more thoughts than previously known about the months immediate following the war so here we go. ch. 3 is coming at some point next week probably and will cover the year after the battle and beyond.
> 
> COUPLE NOTES  
> — i love harry, percy does not. those big sibling vibes are strong in this one  
> — no one can convince me that percy and fleur aren't bffs  
> — as always i'm gay and tired so pls forgive any spelling, grammar, or mathematical mistakes  
> — next chapter will have the same format with the italics as the first chapter, this one is a nice lil' all in the present bit sanwiched between tho because i do what i want  
> — get in losers, we're learning to deal with trauma in healthy ways


	3. recover

Percy is twenty-four when he becomes an uncle.

It's not something he ever thought about, not really. A part of him always knew that most of his siblings would grow up to marry and have children of their own. It just never dawned on him that those children would then proceed to be a part of _his_ life too, which... really, says more about how he perceived his role in the family than anything else. When he's twenty-four though, Percy is steadily rebuilding everything that's been broken down since he was a teenager, and with that comes a reevaluation of where he stands in his parents' and sibling's live. 

Bill and Fleur announce that they're expecting at a family dinner, one day in the middle of summer. Or rather, Bill announces it. Fleur had stood up to tell everyone that they had exciting news, and Bill then proceeded to blurt out that they were having a baby. There are cheers all around, of course, and tears from his mother, and Percy is ecstatic for his brother and sister in law, he really is. It just takes time to process that Bill is going to be a father, their parents will be grandparents, and each and every one of the Weasleys, biological or not, will have a role in that baby's life as well.

When he gets word that the baby is born — _a girl!_ , Bill's letter says, and Percy can already tell that the child will be treated like a queen, — he can at least rest assured that he probably won't be the last family member to meet her. Charlie is off in the middle of Nowhere, Romania, and he can't imagine it'll be easy for Ginny to take time off from the practices she's just started (though he doubts they'd be able to stop her if she tried). He pays a visit to Shell Cottage once he hears both mother and baby are home. 

The way Bill fusses over Victoire reminds him so much of when his mother would fuss over Ginny, and Percy has to keep himself from voicing the comparison. The way Bill talks to the baby, however, is entirely their father — “this is your Uncle Percy, Victoire. Remember, I told you he’s the smart one.”

”Is that really the best qualifier I get? I’d say I also pass as the responsible one.”

”We already promised Fleur’s sister she could have that title. You can try fighting her for it but I’ll be honest, she’d probably win.”

Victoire is smaller than Percy remembers any of his siblings being, and as she’s less than a week old, she doesn’t do much besides lay in Percy’s arms while the two brothers talk. And, Percy can’t help but to notice, Bill’s eyes are on her even when they’re in the middle of a conversation. Percy doesn’t mind; in fact, he smiled just watching the two. If things had gone differently, he might not be sitting here to enjoy this. Whether because of the war or because of his own pride, there could exist a world out there where Percy wouldn’t be there to see Bill fret over every hiccup Victoire made, or bet on how disappointed Charlie would be when he learned every other Weasley had met her before him.

He is here to enjoy it though: his niece and his brother and the realization that _this_ universe is still capable of good things.

( _There are vague memories Percy has from the tail-end of the first Wizarding War. He was only five when it ended — young enough to not fully understand, but old enough to remember how his mother would shake with worry whenever there was an unexpected letter delivered, or his father was late coming home from work. It's something that Percy has been able to forget about over the years, which also brings comfort in knowing that if_ he _barely remembers the thick fear that permeated the entire wizarding community's existence, then his younger siblings certainly wouldn't recall it. It's still there though, bits and pieces of memories that remind him that his parents, and even his older brothers, had lived through that fear twice._

_Some time between James’ and Louis’ births, he's struck with the realization that his nieces and nephews won't have to grow up living with that terror. His own daughters, though not yet born at that point, won't live with it. He's always been too neurotic for his own liking, so he's never able to feel that the threat of harm is ever fully gone. There will always be people desperate for power, and those who still hold on to archaic ideas about purity. But the greatest threat is well and truly gone._

_The day Percy realizes his children, and his nieces and his nephews, and_ their _children, will live in a world without that threat hovering over them, he finally feels safe._ )

* * *

Percy is twenty-five when he meets Audrey.

He wishes he could spin some beautiful tale about how it was love at first sight, and how their entire lives melded together as soon as they met. It wasn’t anything like that, though. Percy can’t even recall the exact day they met, let alone what he thought of her right away. 

What he does know is this:

When he’s twenty-five, a new bakery opens a few blocks from his flat. It’s another few weeks before he visits, and even then it was a spur of the moment decision when he was in the mood for something sweet. Maybe Audrey had been working that day, maybe she hadn’t. But she did become the most regular employee to greet him once he realized the bakery’s croissants were his new guilty pleasure. Eventually, she asks if she can join him at his usual table while she takes her break. Afterwards, with the aid of a sugar rush, Percy stumbles through a question on if she'd care to have dinner with him some time. It carries on from there, until their dates become a weekly thing, and she's stopping by his flat every few days with a personal delivery of croissants.

Falling in love with Audrey is easy. Or maybe Percy just has a penchant for falling hard and fast, if his past relationships are any indication. He’d sooner agree with the former statement though. Even when she’s not working, Audrey smells of freshly made bread, and he soon loses track of how often she shows for a date with flour still on her skin. She speaks of her taste in books so freely that Percy memorizes the titles and then looks them up to read himself, wanting to know her on a level that includes her muggle status. When she laughs, her nose scrunches, and when he kisses her, they always meet in the middle — him stooping down and her on her tip-toes. She gives him actual _butterflies_ like a smitten schoolgirl, so very similar yet so different from anyone he's ever been with.

She’s not like Penny, with anability to tackle any problem head on and fix it. And Merlin knows Penny has fixed more of Percy's shit over the years than she ever should have had to, but as much as Percy adores her (now, in a different way than he did when they were in school, but just as strong), she's never been good at understanding that not everything needs to be fixed. That's a lesson that Percy only learns once he's with Audrey, because _he_ spent so long thinking that every problem had to have a solution. If you understood what was wrong, then logically, you could put it back together. That was his thought process, just as much as it was Penny's.

Audrey? Audrey is comfortable letting things just _be._ The first time he wakes from a nightmare when Audrey is staying the night, he's mortified. Its early in to their relationship, and he hasn't even considered that he might one day reveal magic to her, nevermind tell her about the awful things that he's heard and seen and helped endorse. Of course, him jolting awake was enough to pull her from sleep too, and the room is dark but she's so observant and so smart and so good that she can read the fear just by the sound of his ragged breathing. He's prepared to apologize and wave off any questions of her asking what's wrong, because how can he start to explain? But that's not what happens. Instead of asking what's wrong, she pulls him close and tells him that she's here and that he's safe. She allows him to feel what he needs and work through it, with her right beside him.

She’s not like Duncan, who was always intense and forward, never wanting to take time to enjoy the present. As much as he knows that his... _thing_ with Duncan shouldn't count when he reflects on his relationships, he can't help it. There had been a time, before the hurt, when Percy thought he might be in love, or as close to it as he could have been at thirteen. It wasn't love though. It was infatuation and pain and anger and abuse and everything that shouldn't count, but somehow still does.

Percy forces himself not to think of that compassion too much. He just knows that Audrey is about as far from Duncan as he can ever hope to find. She is so gentle that sometimes Percy wonders how she can handle all of his sharp edges and broken words. It's not that she's able to smooth those edges and put together those words; she collects the bits of him that he wants to hide away and she holds them close, showing him that he doesn't need to carry them all on his own.

She’s not like Oliver, with a passion so hot it’s a wonder it still manages to burn. Percy doubts Oliver knows how to do anything halfway — from the first day they met, it was all or nothing. Not a bad thing by any means; Percy knows what its like to throw yourself into something that pulls in you like no other. The thing with Oliver is that it often left him with tunnel vision — again, a trait that Percy understood uncomfortably well. A grey area isn't something that ever existed for Oliver, and maybe that was part of why the letters they've exchanged since their final tryst have all been cordial but distant. There was no 'all' that Percy was able to give, and Oliver's mind had decided that equated to 'nothing'. His passion knew no limits, but it also knew no stopping until it was too late.

Oh, Audrey has passion, of course. But it’s much more subdued than Oliver’s. Her passion was in the way she would tug at Percy's hand excitedly, asking that he be the first to try out any new recipe, and then spending subsequent hours pouring over the ingredients to improve it. Its the reason she excitedly wakes him up to watch the first snowfall of the year, a habit she'll continue every year that they're together. Audrey's passion is in the small parts of life, which never fail to make her view even the most mundane, daily activities as if they were right out of a story book. Most days, its hard for Percy to remember that Audrey is 100% muggle. So much of what she does is inspired by awe.

That’s how Percy realizes he’s in love with her. Every moment they’ve spent together for months, he’s tried to put into words what it is about Audrey that makes her so unlike anyone he’s ever been with. And it comes to him one evening, when they’re lying in bed and the curtains are pulled open and Audrey is tracing the freckles on Percy’s back to match the stars outside. He can’t put into words what sets Audrey apart from Penny-Duncan-Oliver because Audrey is a category all in her own. Trying to align her with one of his exes would be a disservice to her, with all of her understanding and her gentleness and her passion and ability to see magic long before he tells her what magic _really_ is.

He sits up in bed to stop her tracing and kisses her as soon as the realization hits him, holding her close to tell her that he loves her.

For some odd reason, she says that she loves him too.

( _Telling Audrey what magic_ really _is, is even more beautiful of a moment than Percy could have imagined. Then on their wedding day, when she's dressed in white lace with gardenias in her hair and all eyes of their friends and family on them, Percy thinks that she must have always been a spark of magic herself_ _.}_

* * *

Percy is twenty-six when he tells Bill he was right. 

Of course Bill was right. He’s _Bill_. Percy never admitted it to himself before, but what good is drinking if you can’t admit some hard truths to everyone around you, including yourself? Fortunately, Percy has too much pride to get completely sloshed in a pub, so after another fight with Audrey, he ends up on his eldest brother’s doorstep

It’s much more dignified to get completely sloshed at a family member’s home. 

Fleur is in France visiting family for the week, having taken little Victoire with her. Bill had proposed the idea of her getting some time with them before the new baby comes in a few months. He’d also confessed to his family that he was planning to use the week to get the nursery around and surprise her, so Percy feels somewhat bad for dropping in unannounced. That lasts all of half a second, before Bill brushes away his apology and ushers him inside. He could use a break anyway, he insists.

Percy is a lightweight, and it only takes him a glass and a half of whatever Bill gives him to get tipsy. Two glasses in and he’s drunk, sitting at his big brother’s table and complimenting the kitchen's newly redone color palette. Bill, who can handle his alcohol much better but still manages to get red faced, asks Percy why he’s here. 

“You know _everything_ ,” Percy declares, every bit the starry eyed child he used to be, thinking there was no one better than his big brothers. A part of him still thinks that, though it’s been buried under years of carefully crafted control and bureaucracy. Bill just laughs and says he doesn’t know everything; if he did, he’d know why Percy is here. 

So Percy tells. He tells Bill all about how he still has trouble sleeping, and even though he loves Audrey, he‘s doubting that he can trust her. The last time he trusted, it was towards a government that failed them all. Worse, Audrey can tell that he doesn’t trust her, that there are still secrets that keep him up at night with what-ifs and maybes. Percy knows how unfair it is, how not right it is, and he’s not used to that uncertainty.

“You’re always right though. Tell me, have you ever been wrong?" Its phrased like a question, but Percy doesn't give Bill a chance to actually answer. "No! Never! If people just-- no, if _I_ listened to you more, d'you know what dumb shit wouldn't have happened? I would've... I would've come home when you told me to! Or... oh! Oh, d'you remember when you told me not to poke the garden gnomes with a broom? I wouldn't have gotten bit! D'you remember that?" The alcohol settles into Percy's system the longer he sits there and talks, becoming more animated and thrusting his hand in Bill's face to show off the scar on his left index finger from the aforementioned gnome. 

To his credit, Bill takes all of the rambling in stride, grinning widely at him while letting Percy continue to list off his mental list of _Times I Should Have Listened to You._ ”Wouldn't have gotten locked in that pyramid by the twins... wouldn't have almost burned my desk down trying to read past bedtime.... wouldn't have let him fuck me at thirteen... wouldn't have--" Bill looks ready to reply when the full force of Percy’s speech hits him. Percy is prepared to keep listening off all his failures until he takes in Bill's expression. It quickly sobers up, just enough to figure out that Bill's mind is working to sort through _who_ was a part of his little brother's life at age thirteen. For the first time in years, Percy looks at Bill and is met with an expression of fear.

The fear isn't due to facing death though, like it had been the last time Percy saw it. The fear is for _him_.

_(In the morning, following Bill's request that Percy stay the night so that he can sober up, they don’t talk about it. When they both show for Sunday dinners at the Burrow that week, Fleur still out of country but Percy having made up with Audrey, they don’t talk about it. It’s not until about four months later that Bill brings it up again, popping in for an unexpected visit saying he wanted to check in. Once the conversation starts though, Percy is sure that the real reason for the visit is that Bill can’t stand not knowing any longer._

_“A while back, you said something about when you were thirteen.” And there it is. It’s not the first time he’s talked about it. There was that Christmas Eve with Charlie when he found out what happened after. But it’s the first time anyone has asked Percy instead of him being the one to mention it. Which makes sense. No one knew about Duncan other than the few people who’d picked up on their friendship during those few years. Percy doesn’t like talking about it, but he can so long as he’s in control of the narrative._

_He's not in control of the narrative, not now. The few times that Percy has brought it up over the years, its been after giving himself time to mentally prepare, and always in a context that he sets so he can end it as he sees fit. That's how it's always worked and that's how Percy has managed to go all these years, burying that truth. But Bill isn't asking because he wants to know all of Percy's secrets — he's asking because he's Bill, and Bill is smart and_ always _right, at least in Percy's eyes. Bill is the person that Percy always aspired to be growing up. Cool and charming, who didn't need to choose between being smart, career-oriented, or liked. Bill got to be all of those things._

_Bill is his big brother, and Percy knows that if there's anyone he trusts himself to be open with, it's his big brother._

_”You were right to not trust Duncan.” He has a second to prepare himself for the hug Bill gives him. It's_ _so tight that Percy can tell it’s because his brother needs to do it as much as he needs to feel it. He apologizes for not having protected Percy, and Percy tells him it was his own fault, to which Bill promptly swats him on the back of the head._

_"You were a kid," Bill says, his voice steadfast and unbreaking. "He took advantage of you. That's not your fault."_

_Thirteen years after it happened, Percy admits — to his brother and to himself — that he was raped. The word is bitter in his mouth, raw and deep, but the reality is no longer tucked away into the far corners of his brain.)_

* * *

Percy is twenty-eight when he reconnects with Oliver.

One of the stupidest things Percy has ever done is not consider the idea that Oliver would be at George and Angelina's wedding. He may have been the very first name on their guest list, knowing those two. Truthfully though, that had been the farthest thing from Percy's mind as he got ready for the ceremony. Audrey was visiting her grandfather, who'd taken a rather nasty fall and concerned her entire family. " _He'll be alright,_ " she had told him when she called the day prior. " _Give George and Angelina all my love, and tell them we're treating them to dinner whenever they'd like. And take lots of photos for me!"_

The wedding is a spectacular affair, full of bright colors and laughs, and Percy considers it an honor that he can properly attend this one, rather than doing so in secrecy. George radiates happiness in a way nobody has seen in years, and Angelina has managed to settle into their family so effortlessly that it's like she was always there. It makes Percy all the more anxious for when Audrey returns home and he's able to pluck up to courage to propose, but that's neither here nor there. 

At the reception, he talks with family members and fellow Hogwarts alum, but he finds that its more difficult than he considered to not have Audrey as a buffer. She was far more of a social butterfly than him, with an uncanny ability to talk to anyone about anything. He knew that if she were here, even though he would know more guests, she would easily be conversing with each and every one of them. There are so many people, and his parents and siblings keep taking off into their own little groups, that it becomes a bit too much excitement for him to process. That's how he ends up just outside of the large tent, getting fresh air to calm his nerves, when he's caught by an always familiar voice. "Percy?"

He and Oliver have written the occasional letter to one another over the years, but Percy hasn't heard Oliver say his name since that last day they'd both spent helping with repairs at Hogwarts. He'd know that voice anywhere though, after seven years and some odd months of having lived together. It does what he'd hoped stepping outside would do, and instantly relaxes him. "Hello, Oliver." Neither of the smiles they give one another is forced. That might be the biggest miracle of they night.

They talk, sat side by side on a bench just outside the tent. Oliver tells him about his career, and when he trails off once they breech the topic of publicity, Percy picks it back up by mentioning the overwhelming support he'd seen in magazines when Oliver had come out the year before. "I'm proud of you, Ollie." In return, Percy tells Oliver about his own work, and his recent move to the Department of Magical Transportation. It's not until they've been talking for close to an hour, reminiscing and relearning one another, that Percy tentatively mentions Audrey. 

Oliver asks what she's like, and of course Percy immediately shows him the multiple photos he carries with him everywhere. Now, he can tell that Oliver’s smile no longer reaches his eyes, but he still gives one for Percy’s sake. “She’s a beaut," he says. "She must really make you happy." And she does, and it takes all of Percy's control not to ramble on about the million and one ways in which Audrey makes his every day. He's never been shy about sharing his opinions, but he can't do that to Oliver, of all people.

The cheers pouring out from inside the tent seem to get louder, and soon George’s amplified voice announces that it’s time to cut the cake. Oliver smirks, remarks that they should go back inside to see which one of the newlyweds manages to throw their piece in the other’s face first. And when he stands to go inside, Percy stays sat for a moment. “Hey, Oliver?”

At first, the phrase _I shouldn't have asked you to go_ sits on the tip of his tongue, but Percy bites it down. He can't in all good conscious tell Oliver that he regrets that, because he doesn't know what may have happened had Oliver stayed. He may never have met Audrey, and the thought of that terrifies him. He is sorry, though. That he never gave them a chance, that by his own fault he’s missed out on Oliver’s accomplishments, that the two of them were once best friends but now barely know each other. He could maybe be alright with never having had the chance to experience Oliver as anything expressly romantic, but the strain that the years have had on their friendships hurt more. Percy is unable to say any of this, and in the time it takes him to run through his thoughts, Oliver has turned to look at him with a familiar expression of intrigue and concern.

Finally, when a chorus of laughter from inside tells them they missed Angelina getting lemon meringue all over George’s face, Percy nods to Oliver. “It was nice seeing you again. Maybe we can meet up sometime soon soon?”

When Percy's at home later that night, he wonders if you can love someone you were never with. He and Oliver were never an item, no. But he did know Percy better than quite possibly anyone out there, sometimes more than Percy knew himself. He decides, as he’s laying in bed trying to fall asleep, that you can love someone like that. More importantly, as he’s planning when he’ll have to leave to pick up Audrey from the train station the next morning, he decides that maybe this is how he and Oliver were meant to turn out.

( _Throughout his first year, Percy had perfect attendance to all of his classes, but that record didn't carry on. In winter of second-year, he comes down with a nasty cold that even Madam Pomfrey needed a few days' worth of remedies to help fully eradicate. Percy had been more upset about missing class than being ill, and it takes a threat of physical violence from both of his brothers to get him to concede to bed rest. At the end of that first day, he's surprised to see Oliver stop in to the Hospital Wing for a visit, carrying Percy's book bag and a list of their assignments for the day. On the second day, Oliver comes as well, this time with a story about how one of the girls in their year had accidentally turned hair pins into a pair of mice while still wearing them that day._

 _On the third day, when Percy has neglected to tell Madam Pomfrey that he's spiked a fever, he's too tired to focus on his homework or be much company to Oliver. He expects Oliver to leave, but instead, Oliver plucks the_ A History of Magic _right out of Percy's hands and reads aloud to him. He does the same on day four, once Percy_ has _told Madam Pomfrey about his fever, and Oliver can only spend ten minutes reading to Percy about the Banshee Crisis of 1642 until he's ushered out. On the fifth day, Percy is well enough to focus, but he finds himself staying silent when Oliver insists on reading out loud nonetheless, pausing only when he needs Percy's vocabulary to sound out a particularly difficult word._

 _He's back in their dorm after six days, and ready to return to class and catch up on all that he may have missed. Better than that, is something he realizes as he's falling asleep in his own bed that night, right after Oliver has turned out the lights and told him good night. He had missed being able to hear Oliver speak for more than a few minutes at a time, the shape of his vowels the roll of his r's and the way his pitch raised whenever he spoke about Quidditch. Despite being in their blacked out dorm room, with Oliver already fast asleep in his bed, Percy brings his comforter up to hide his reddened face when this thought hits him: he had missed Oliver's voice._ )

* * *

Percy is thirty when his daughter is born.

As in all things, Percy spends the nine months leading up to her birth by trying to understand. Audrey laughs when he tells her this. “If you don’t get how it happened, I must be doing something very wrong.” He's able to tease back that her current state says that she has done many things _very_ right, but that does nothing to ease his anxiety at the prospect of raising a living, breathing human being. He reads books on the pregnancy process as well as how writers think fatherhood affects someone, as if there’s any one specific answer.

He talks to Bill, who may as well be an expert now between Victoire, Dominique, and the child in Fleur’s belly that everyone is sure will be a boy. The older he gets though, the more Percy is realizing that, as cool and smart as he once thought Bill was, his oldest brother is pretty much clueless about things. When Percy comes by to visit him in a tizzy looking for answers, Bill laughs and gives him possibly the least helpful advice ever: "You'll just know." 

He talks to George, but that conversation is cut short — ironically — by two year old Fred II climbing onto ‘Uncle Purry’ like his own personal playhouse. 

He considers talking to his own father, which is an idea that he promptly shuts down. Their relationship has certainly grown, but Percy is still recovering from their last emotional talk and he doesn't think he could tolerate that degree of vulnerability right now, not when he's fretting over if Audrey is sleeping well enough with the baby or when would be too early to start stressing the importance of good penmanship.

By the time he's debating if he should pen a letter to Charlie, to see if his dragon-raising expertise would translate into humans, he has to concede that this might be one of those things that he simply doesn't know. Even at thirty, Percy hates very few things more than not knowing. It's the closest thing to an answer he has though, and for the duration of Audrey's pregnancy, he asks his mother for spells on baby-proofing their home while reading every book he can on child development, to decrease the possibility that he does anything wrong. They learn that they're having a girl, and Audrey has no qualms with naming her after Percy's mother, with a promise that their next daughter be named after her's. They get an abundance of clothes and advice from Fleur, although many of the logistics go right over Percy's head when she starts to give them the pros and cons of breast-feeding. The family learns that both Ginny and Hermione are expecting in the same timeframe as well, which only makes Molly cry more.

When Ginny goes into premature labor two months before expected, Percy finds himself facing a whole new set of concerns, both for his sister and for the potentials that Audrey is facing. Ginny and the Potter's second child are healthy after weeks of observation at St. Mungos, a relief to the entire family. And the more time that passes, the safer Percy and Audrey know that they are in terms of their baby girl, until August 25th rolls around. On that day, Percy receives a message just after he's arrived at work, and leaves in such a hurry that he shows up to the muggle hospital (Audrey's insistence, for the sake of her parents') still dressed in his ministry robes.

The first time he holds Molly is the greatest moment of his life. She's so small, with a barely-there tuft of red hair and his blue eyes; she's the single most beautiful person Percy has ever met, and he knows right then and there that its his genuine honor to be her father.

( _He had thought, when finding out the news that Audrey was pregnant again three years later, that Lucy's birth would be tied for the greatest moment of his life. Percy, in an always-continuing trend, was wrong. Yes, holding Lucy for the first time is just as intense a moment as when he had held Molly, this time staring down at a child with soft black hair and deep brown eyes like her mother. He doesn't think anything could top it. That's proven false when his parents bring Molly by to meet the newest addition. The greatest moment, he decides, is when he sees Molly sat in Audrey's lap in the hospital bed, her little three-year old arms doing their best to hold her baby sister._

 _The best moment of Percy's life is looking upon his daughters, in all of their childlike wonder and innocence and complete ignorance of the horrible things that have come before them. Its knowing that, internally, Molly is making the same promise to Lucy that Percy had once made to his younger siblings: that she would always have someone to keep her safe, and a family that would always love her._ )

* * *

Percy is thirty-two when he attends his ex-girlfriend’s wedding.

They had joked about it shortly after their break-up when they agreed to stay friends, about how one day, Penny might have to go to Percy's wedding and he might be forced to go to hers. And yet Penny had been the first person after his family to congratulate him and Audrey at their wedding, and now Percy is sat at a round table, where Oliver had saved room for the Weasleys. At some point, Penny disentangles from all of her guests and takes a seat with the three of them. Oliver immediately launches into a flurry of compliments about how beautiful she looks.

It should be awkward, right? Percy thinks it should be awkward, sitting at a table composed entirely of people you’ve slept with. On the contrary though, Percy doesn’t know that he’s felt this comfortable in years. Audrey and Oliver and Penny — all have brought out the best in him at different points in his life, and he truly does think that he might not be here to enjoy this moment without each of them to some degree. He doesn't deserve any of them, and he's well aware of this. But they're all still here, despite the number of times he's tried to push them away.

There's a fluttering in his chest to see how easily Audrey talks with Oliver and Penny. None of them come from the same world; between him, Oliver, and Penny, they've each had vastly different experiences based on their abilities and careers and yes, even years after the war, their respective blood statuses. Add Audrey, who is still learning the ins and outs of the magical community, and they make quite the table. Somehow, it works. It warms Percy from the inside out to be a part of their light conversations and laughter. 

,He can't help but think that it was only a few years ago that he had been trapped in the Ministry, working for people who sought to eradicate everything he'd been raised to believe in. At the time time, Oliver had been trying to forge a career in a time of war, having spent his entire life to reach that point only for it to all go up in flames. Penny had been in fear, wondering if any day would be the day Death Eaters showed up at her front door to drag her away.Yet somehow, they made it here. Despite everything that had been thrown their way, from awkward first kisses to petrifactions to fearing for their lives, they had each survived. Bigger than their survivals, they were each happy, or at least close enough to it. Oliver with his career, Penny with her marriage and music, Percy with Audrey and Molly and their second daughter who’s due to be born in just a few months time.

Audrey excuses herself to the restroom at one point, and Penny takes that as a cue to return to her husband. Before she does though, she grips both Percy’s and Oliver’s hands, and thanks them for coming. For a fleeting moments, its just the three of them, and it feels so _good_ to be the three of them again. Audrey had picked up on the basics of the war, as well as his still-healing relationship with his family, and she would listen and love him nonetheless. There was a certain relief though, Percy thinks, in knowing that Penny and Oliver understand in a way he might never be able to talk about with anyone else. They'd lived through that fear with him. Beyond that fear, they'd spent roughly two decades living with Oliver's fanaticism, Penny's exuberance, and Percy's neuroticism.

They'd lived through heartbreak, hell, and everything in between; all so that they could end up at this table, each of them beaming at the other with nothing but happiness - _finally_ happiness.

They had more than earned it.

( _In their seventh year, only a few days before graduating, Penny and Oliver convinced Percy to finally break a school rule. It was after the threat of Sirius Black had fizzled out, and filled with promises about how the three of them were model students. If they got caught, what was the worst the school could do? Expel them? "_ Yes," _Percy had insisted, and then gone into a mini rant about how there was still time for this to jeopardize their future job prospects, and as Head Boy, how would it look to the other students if he was caught acting up? Eventually though, with the plethora of skills that both Penny and Oliver had gained over the years in the fine art of Percy Control, they convince him to join them._

_The three of them managed to stumble their way through the dark, using Penny and Percy's three-years worth of patrol knowledge to navigate through the school while avoiding Mrs. Norris and any teachers. Right before they climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower, they were almost caught by Peeves, but eventually they made it. None of them knew how long they lay there, sprawled out on the tower's cold floor, swapping around a bottle of rum that Penny had snagged from one of her uncle's at Christmas and stored away ever since._

_Oliver and Percy were impressed that Penny had been hoarding alcohol for months just for this occasion._

_Percy and Penny were impressed by Oliver's ability to recall most of the constellations in the sky that night even while tipsy, proving that he had in fact earned his N.E.W.T.-level in Astronomy, thank you very much._

_And Oliver and Penny were impressed by the simple fact that Percy was allowing himself to have this moment._

_The finally stumble their way back hours later. They break another rule that night, when a drunk Oliver points out that they'd increase their chances of being caught if they split up, sending Penny to Ravenclaw Tower while the boys head to Gryffindor. They learn that Percy is much more amenable to rule breaking once he's had a bit to drink, which is how Penny ends up being smuggled in to Gryffindor tower under the promise of smuggling her back out before the rest of the school wakes. She takes Percy's bed, Percy contorts himself in beside Oliver in his, and the three of them fall asleep, naively optimistic about their futures._ )

* * *

Percy is thirty-five when he and Audrey divorce. 

He loves her and she loves him, but they stopped being _in love_ a long time ago. To love some one is to give yourself over to them completely, something Percy once thought he'd be able to do. He can't though, not in the ways Audrey deserves. Molly is five; she’s old enough to pick up on the differences between her parents’ marriage and the marriages of her aunts and uncles. They discuss it a lot, about if they should stay together for the girls or maybe try a marriage counselor? Audrey has a muggle cousin in the field, maybe she can recommend someone. 

They never ask though. It’s not that they’re unhappy with their marriage, it’s that they’re unsatisfied. And neither of them needs to say it, but they both know that if it weren’t for their daughters, they’d have split up years ago. Audrey wants to know that she has Percy completely, and he _wants_ to be able to give her that. For all the times he's been an utter prat, skirting around difficult topics and avoiding her knowing about the true horrors that have plagued his world, she's somehow managed to put up with him. All the long days spent working overtime, the numerous nights Percy would wake from a dead sleep, shaking, with her at his side, and Audrey is just so _good_. 

And in spite of it all, in spite of the love and pride and gratitude he feels for her, Percy knows he'll never be able to fully trust her. 

It's not just her, and he hopes more than anything that she doesn't blame herself. If Percy could trust someone new, then he knows it would be her. He can't tell her everything though. Oh, he's sure she knows. She's sharp, and has an uncanny knack for picking up on nonverbal cues to follow a conversation. There have been times, he's noticed, at family dinners or when he runs into old classmates and coworkers on the street, that she's heard the topics he tries to hard to avoid.

How is he supposed to tell her? _Welcome home darling, did I ever tell you that I sat back for a year, buried in paperwork, while dozens if not hundreds of people were stripped of their wands and thrown away to rot?_ Or maybe something like, _we're all out of milk, and also, I once refused to visit my own father in the hospital after he was attacked by a snake._ She might respond to, _I trusted the government not to fail me, I trusted my family to always love me, I trusted my first love not to hurt me, and all of those people lied to me. I don't know how to let anyone new in_.

He can't say those things, so he settles for saying nothing, which is much worse coming from him. What makes it worse is that _she_ trusts _him_. Inexplicably and uninhibited, which is why she's the one who breeches the subject to begin with. She asks what's on his mind, and doesn't believe when he tells her its just work. It's not a complete lie; he just leaves out the part about how there are locations of the rebuilt Ministry that still remind him of the screams of Muggleborns being dragged to a farce of an investigation. 

In the end, they both agree to separate. It’s a perfectly civil agreement — it’s more convenient for Audrey to keep their apartment since it’s close to her work, which also makes it more convenient for the girls to primarily stay with her. Percy sees them every other day though, and on alternating weekends, they stay with him, first at the Burrow and then at his own place once he’s saved up enough. It works.

Just because it works doesn't make it easy, he learns.

( _His first night back at the Burrow, after dodging his mother's prying questions about whether he and Audrey can work things out, is one of the toughest nights Percy has had in over a decade. It's the first night since either of them was born that he hasn't said good night to his daughters. He barely remembers to cast a silencing charm over his room, because the last thing he wants is to alert his parents to his crying._ )

* * *

Percy is thirty-seven when he asks Oliver to lunch.

Oliver had been the first person outside of his family to know about his divorce, and had taken to checking in on him over the past few years since things were finalized. They've met up occasionally, for drinks or for breakfast on the rare chance their schedules allowed it, but those events were always spoken of in terms of hypotheticals. _I'll be available next Thursday evening_ , or _Penny recommended a coffee place downtown, if you're up for it_. There's never been anything explicit behind it, no labeling their meetings as a date. They simply happen, regardless of how Percy generally leaves the meetings feeling warm inside, or questioning if (at his age) he should still be feeling like a blushing schoolboy whenever Oliver smiles. Neither of them imitates their meetings as anything more than platonic, so neither labels them beyond that.

Maybe what makes it so difficult to write the words _Would you care to join me for dinner? My treat_. Percy manages it though, and when Oliver replies that he would love to, he tries to ignore his own excitement. At the bistro they inevitably find themselves in, he's reminded of when he was twenty-one, and Oliver was freshly twenty-three, and their lunch meeting had ended with the two of them in Percy's bed, and him asking Oliver to leave lest he allow himself a happiness he did not feel worthy of. They still haven't spoken of that day, or of the years of hushed feelings that both preceded and followed it, but it feels like they don't have to.

They talk, and talk, and talk. Percy updates Oliver on Molly and Lucy — Lucy is learning to read already, and Molly has taken to bringing home any small creature she can get her hands on. Oliver tells Percy that he's applied for a coaching gig for a minor-league Quidditch team, now that he's professionally retired.. They laugh and smile, and knowing that the girls are with Audrey for the weekend, Percy asks if Oliver would care to accompany him home. There's a hesitancy before he gets an answer, Percy can practically feel it, and there is no part of him that faults Oliver for it. He gets yet another "I would love to" in response, and Percy feels like he might buss right out of his skin.

While Oliver walks with Percy back to his place, they don't go any further than the doorstep. Truth be told, Percy is a bit disappointed considering that he outright asks if Oliver wants to go inside. But, Oliver tells him, he has an early morning the next day, which Percy begrudgingly accepts. Their frivolousness may have been alright when they were in their early twenties; now, there were too many responsibilities on both of their ends to be so carefree.

Oliver does kiss him, though. Presses Percy right up against the door to his apartment, neck craning at their height difference. It really has been too long since Percy was touched by another person like this, he almost goes weak in the knees. That’s when Oliver pulls back, with that always-charming smile and a familiar glint in his eyes and speaks in that voice of his, the one that still give Percy goosebumps.

”Maybe next time.”

( _Next time, Oliver does indeed come in. And the time after that. And many times more, including months later when he's invited to join Percy for dinner on a weekend that the girls are with him. Percy has already cleared it with Audrey, which had been possibly the most uncomfortable conversation he'd ever had with her, in part because she was friendly with Oliver and in part because Percy hadn't ever seen reason to inform Audrey that he was attracted to men as much as women. He does, however, underestimate his former wife and the mother of his children. Audrey had already began dating again herself, so that wasn't any issue. She did look somewhat off-guard when Percy tells her who he was with; it takes her tentatively asking if this was a recent development for Percy to realize her concerns._

 _"There was no point during our time together that I was with anyone else," he promises her. "Or that I_ wanted _to be with anyone else." Audrey, in all of her infinite goodness and her ability to love in spite of, rather than despite, gives the okay for the girls to meet Oliver as their father's partner, and ends their conversation by saying that Percy deserves to be happy. Percy assures her that she deserves the same._

 _Staying true to himself, Percy spent the entire day leading up to dinner in a panicked frenzy, making sure that the girls understood that Oliver was coming over as more than a friend, and wondering if he should have asked his mother how to prepare lamb rather than chicken. And, continuing to stay true to himself, Percy finds that all of his worrying had been for naught. The girls knew Oliver; they would now just be learning him in a different capacity, that's all. They talk and laugh and it's so easy that Percy thinks himself an idiot for thinking it would be at all a problem. Molly shows off her sketchbook to Oliver, Oliver tells a wide-eyed Lucy about what it feels like to fly, and at the end of the night when the girls have gone to bed and its just Percy and Oliver, they're both still filled with how_ normal _the day had felt. Percy is taken aback when Oliver says how nervous he had been._

_They're sat together on the couch, Oliver leaning against Percy who is faintly listening for any signs that the girls are not, in fact, asleep. "You could have fooled me," Percy says after Oliver admits his nerves, to which its now Oliver's turn to look surprised._

_"Should I not have been? You can't tell me you wouldn't be worrying like crazy, I_ know _you would. I was just hoping I'd fit in."_

 _Just as he'd made a promise to Audrey prior to this evening, Percy now makes a promise to Oliver. Fitting in here isn't something you ever have to worry about."_ )

* * *

Percy is forty-one when he sees his oldest daughter off to school.

It's more than Percy had expected. In addition to getting Molly ready for the upcoming year, he and Oliver had also been working to get _Audrey_ ready for the upcoming school year. Percy shows her where in London she can access a wizarding post office to send letters, and makes sure that both his and Oliver's _and_ Audrey's addresses are on the mailing list for news on holiday breaks. Together, he and Audrey take Molly to collect her school things while Oliver stays home to distract Lucy, who is already crying about missing her sister even though they'd spent the entire month prior in an argument about who owned a specific pair of pink and yellow striped socks.

When the day comes, the five of them (because of course Audrey and Percy would accompany her, but Molly insisted on Lucy and Oliver going as well) set off for King's Cross Station, and Percy wonders if this is what his mother felt like when she first saw Bill off. He wonders, when he spots Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Harry seeing their kids off, if they're feeling the same. He wonders if he can be expected to feel the same way in three years' time, when Lucy joins them as well. As always, Percy has spent weeks mentally preparing himself for this, reassuring himself that he knew Hogwarts' excellency, and that he has faith in McGonagall as Headmistress, and that Molly already hasa gaggle of cousins at the school who would keep an eye on her. That logic was failing him now though; he rambles about work to former classmates dropping off their own children, and makes a point to explain the logistics of the Hogwarts Express to Audrey, all in the hopes that talking will make this any easy.

It doesn't.

When the conductor announces they're leaving in five minutes, Percy spends three of the subsequent minutes hugging Molly, only relinquishing her so that she can say goodbye to her other family as well. "I'll send a letter as soon as I get there!" She promises, smiling so wide that Percy can see the spot where her last baby tooth has recently fallen out. 

The group of (now) four waits until the train is out of sight to walk back through the barrier. It's Audrey's week to have Lucy, and even after six years of their custody arrangement, Percy still finds it hard to see her go. More so now than ever, to have her with Audrey and Molly settling in to whatever house is lucky enough to have her. He hugs Lucy extra tight before they part ways, and tells her that they can pick out any book she wants to read when she's back with him. Then its just him and Oliver, apparating back to their home that is now, quite possibly, scarily quiet.

The quiet doesn't last, because Oliver knows how to cheer Percy up, and his methods are about as far from quiet as Percy can imagine. It works though, and for a solid hour after they get home, Percy is completely distracted and relaxed and enjoying the time to now enjoy every inch of Oliver that he can touch. Afterwards, the house is quiet again, with only their breathing to interrupt. "You doing alright?" Oliver asks him. They've known each other for three decades now (to the date, Percy acknowledges), and Oliver's voice is still Percy's favorite sound.

Percy, for all that the day has been, wants nothing more than to sleep. Tomorrow is Saturday, and he's sure that Oliver has plans to make the weekend as stress-free as possible, or as close to stress-free as Percy will allow himself. In the morning, he'll wait anxiously for the letter to arrive, bringing news of where Molly will spend the next seven years of her life (it inevitably tells the family that they have their very first Hufflepuff, a title that Molly is already wearing with pride). And, Percy knows, it's only a handful of days before Audrey comes by to drop off Lucy for his time with her, something that he's already looking forward to.

It's strange, he thinks. There are scenes burned in to his memory that he'll never be able to forget no matter how hard he tries — the look on his father's face when he'd left, Fred dying, his admittance to Bill about what had happened with Duncan, the hurt in Oliver's eyes when he'd told him to leave twenty years ago. There was a time when he'd been prepared to die, not willingly but simply because it was an inevitability in the time they lived in.

There are also, he reminds himself, moments he remembers that he hopes he never forgets. Graduating with top grades in every subject after years of making sure there was no other option. The way Audrey looked at their wedding, barring the divorce years later. His daughters being born. Penny asking him to be godfather to _her_ children. The day Oliver agreed to move in with him. Lying there next to Oliver, Percy decides that the number of good memories he's gained far outweigh the bad; it takes him a few moments to let that realization sink in.

At seventeen, Percy had felt like the world was at his feet. At twenty-one, he went into work every day wondering if this would be the day he learned someone he loved was dead. And at forty-one, he feels neither on top of the world nor as if he's toeing the line between life and death at any given moment.

He feels that he is exactly where he's meant to be.

"Yes," he responds to Oliver's question, and pulls him in for a kiss. ' _Alright_ ' doesn't begin to describe how he is going. But for the time being, Percy will take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUP COOL KIDS I wanted this finished before the year ended but i'm garbage so my bad. But???? I'm done???? 20,000 words about Percy Weasley, I hope we can all stan. I'm also completely floored by how many people have bookmarked or left kudos or cOMMENTED on this. Every single one of them has made my day, and honestly, it's been looking at the comments that inspired me to finish this bad boy. from the bottom of my heart, thank you all
> 
> —i wrote half of this out and then realized one of percy's kids had to be at least 11 in 2017 for it to work in canon so i redid my own timeline so as always, if anything is mathematically off, i'm gay and tired  
> — nobody asked, but i headcanon audrey as being of chinese descent and (as stated here) a muggle. molly ii is an artistically inclined redheaded hufflepuff, and when lucy goes to hogwarts, she'll be in ravenclaw. i have so many headcanons for these kids that they know have their own pinterest inspo boards, rip  
> — there is so much i wanted to fit in here that i simply couldn't without feeling like it was forced. but i have so many headcanons particularly related to the friendship i headcanon between oliver, percy, and penelope and i for sure plan on writing more things in this same verse to explore those headcanons  
> — AGAIN thank you to anyone who's taken the time to read, comment, kudo, or acknowledge this little brain child of mine in any way. percy is one of my favorite harry potter characters and i always felt he was given so much flack for things that other characters would be sympathized for, and it was very important for me to not only showcase his decline but also his working towards healing. it's a big things, imo, to acknowledge that recovering from trauma and negative experiences takes time, and it takes even more time to work through the mentality you had during those experiences. it probably aint that deep but just knowing that people out there have read these things is more hearwarming than i could put in to words ♥  
> — find more trash percy content on tumblr @ mcnsieurfeuilly.  
> 


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